What does take?

I would like to understand what it takes. When does God plant in you the seeds that spring into life the thing that produces missionaries, apostles, or just die-hard Believers? Sometimes I feel like I just want to crawl into my made bed and pretend like my responsibilities have passed and are not really that important. Sometimes I forget that I was, at one point, passionate about this. Yet, sometimes I feel like I’m in 6th gear doing 120. The creative juices are flowing. I can’t wait to share with others the work that needs to be done. I’m in rally mode.

I once was tricked. I was tricked into this false sense of God. What I mistook God’s presence as was simply my ability to relax in the comfort provided me by my parents. I can tell you with a little less haze now, that God is not the ability to not worry about your next meal. God is not taking for granted the material possessions in front of you. God is not your ability to purchase that new MacBook. What I thought as God’s closeness was simply my comfort. I can see now that it is through great need and discomfort that there is great faith. I have found that it is now more difficult than ever to maintain decent prayer time, foundational reading time, and a constant grasp on God’s presence in my life. I have to be intentional. I have to be disciplined. How is this a bad thing? It is certainly inconvenient and sometimes, well, difficult.

So I would again ask what it takes?

I have this suspicion that all the answers I am looking for are right in front of me. Those things like hope, proactive faith, fellowship, incredibly inspiring Bible stories; they are all tools that God has provided. It may not be comfort. It may not be easy – no one ever said it was.

Have we convinced ourselves the institutions like mega churches and MTV-esque charitable organizations are justice and the replacement for God’s soldiers? It can’t be that easy, can it?